12 is a big turning point.
12 months is the completing of a year. we don’t usually say “my baby is 12 months”. we say “my baby is 1”.
……
no matter how much we may not want to say it.
my baby…is one.
can i call her a baby anymore? that’s been the subject of much debate around here.
because if she isn’t my baby…who is?
and no, i don’t think i can live without a baby, thankyouverymuch.
but this one who’s one isn’t the only one.
because this one…
is also twelve. 12. one-two. tuh-welllve. as in—really, REALLY not my baby. as in—her official “last year of childhood”. as in—next up, the teens.
kelle at enjoying the small things just wrote a beautiful, poignant post about the happy-sads. and that’s how i feel—happysad.
i love the person she’s becoming—the woman. it’s amazing to me. before i had children i would look at women interacting with their grown children and wonder…how do they not walk around in a perpetual state of “i can’t believe this person came out of me.”
and sure, now that i have children i realize well, duh, you can’t walk around in that state of amazement and amusement non-stop. but yes, there’s definitely moments when you think i can’t believe this person—this grown up child-adult came out of me.
and i already waxed poetic last week about her growing up and the stages we’re reaching so i won’t go crazy again here. but let me just say—so far, i’m enjoying the ride. and i don’t WANT to hear about “wait for the teen years” or “you’ll see when she turns 13” because i’m not sticking my head in the sand like it’s not gonna happen—but i LOVE this child and i’m excited and happysad to experience growing up with her.
i don’t want to dread the future, i want to embrace it. because all periods of growth are exciting and scary and messy and dangerous—even when you’re an adult.
************************************
so there they are. my #1, and my #5. my engine and my caboose. the one that made me a mother, and the one that (hopefully??) closed out my child-bearing years.
yes, there’s much of the happysads around the googiehaus.
Happy birthday one and five! Your kids are just adorable at every age.
ReplyDeleteLovely post, lovely photos, lovely baby - and I think she will always be your baby :)
ReplyDeleteAw, your post made me happysad. And you know what? I say you get to call ALL your babies your babies forever.
ReplyDeleteyou said it judith! your children are always your babies! (which gives you the divine right to give your opinion, at any given time---unsolicited) truly my children are such a joy to me, I am SO proud of each of them. I.t IS such a reverential feeling to know that these people came out of ME. I never forget that. And to know that you had a small part in the creation of the grandchildren is quite amazing. I look in their faces and think "this is a part of me". Especially if they're gorgeous creatures like mine are......
ReplyDeletegoogiemamas mamma (the Original mamma)
Oh I feel your pain. My baby girl just turned one and my big boy will turn 6 this friday. He told me a few days abo he needs deodorant now to smell good for his girlfrind *g* ... oh dear
ReplyDelete