how do i go about explaining what an amazing thing happened?
how i took a chance...shared something i don't normally talk about...
the comments i got here on the blog? beautiful. the emails i got sent directly? eye opening. the phone calls i received from friends who read my blog? humbling.
and i learned.
i learned there are so many people suffering with depression and anxiety. which, technically, i think we all know. but THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE SUFFERING with depression and anxiety.
people you brush shoulders with everyday, and you don't know it. people whose lives you read about on the internet, and you don't know it. people you've never met, who read what you wrote and say "HEY! me too!"
and isn't that what we all want to some extent? to know that we're not alone? that we're not (entirely) crazy? that we're not the only one...
so thank you, everyone. for letting me know that i'm not the only one. or for letting me know you care, even if you can't entirely understand.
i thought one of the most profound things i read was in one of my comments. in case you missed it...
"If you were paralyzed from the waist down, and were sitting in a room where in the corner was EVERYTHING you needed to be happy, would anyone fault you for not getting up and walking over to it? Would they call you lazy? Or would they recognize that it was not something you could physically do for yourself? Depression is the same exact thing. Everything you need to be happy is just out of reach, but you literally cannot get there on your own."
such a simple description. yet so accurate.
as for me? i'm still on my lower dose of meds, and i'm staying here for a while. we'll see.
after a few rough nights, the littlest googie is now in her own bed, sleeping through the night sans milkies. uninterrupted sleep is a positive change i'm hoping will help.
it's virtually unanimous that exercise helps with depression. and i'm taking the bull by the horns: i started a new exercise routine.
not gonna lie--it's a struggle.
i hate every.single.second. on that blasted treadmill. but i'm doing it for my family--for my husband, my children. for me.
and right across from my treadmill i hung a quote i printed out. it wasn't on purpose--i just loved it and wanted it up in the family room. but i find as i walk i'm staring at it.
i lied. that's not really the one.
but that one makes me for real LOL every time i read it.
this is the one i've taken to heart:
yes. let's all be awesome, shall we?