crime of the century

just the facts, ma’am.

the perpetrator:

 
“origami knife” gigi 

the victim:

 
my innocent left eyeball

the weapon:

(artist’s rendition)

 

heebie-jeebie factor:

approximately 1.4 million

 

pain scale:

however high it goes, plus one.

trips to the eye doctor since thursday:

so far, 4. tomorrow’s appointment is with a corneal specialist, whatever that is.

 

how i’ve looked since thursday:

(also an artist’s rendition)

(but a surprisingly accurate one)

 

how i look when i go out:

i wear my sunglasses at night…

and during the day…

and in the house.