Thursday, October 6, 2011

and i wasn't even chasing waterfalls.

i might just go with it.
you know, call myself "left eye"...throw a smudge of whatever that inky stuff football players use under it.

of course, with freakishly dilated pupils like these...



i may not need the addition of wacky makeup.

here's the thing--in the words of my friend, we're just going to write off 2011. i got my baby ell out of it, but beyond that, it's kinda been a lousy year. i'm actually tired of telling people about my health problems. i never thought i'd be that person.

so i figure maybe if i say it real real fast it's better somehow?
okay, ready--read this like that micromachines guy used to talk on the commercial:

you can't see it in this picture, but just on the edge of the black part of my eye is a small white dot thingy.
apparently sometimes when you're sitting on the couch nursing your baby and your 2 year old gets excited about the paper that came in the mail that has sesame street characters on it and waves it at you and hits your eyeball, then you can get a corneal abrasion, which is essentially a paper cut on your eyeball and while gross and annoying, you've had one before and really it isn't a huge deal, until the next day when it REALLY HURTS so you go to the eye doctor and she kind of scoffs at you all "it's not very big. i don't know why you're in so much pain. i guess everyone's pain tolerance is different" and you're all "uh, i've given birth naturally four and a half times i'm no pain wimp and i'll cut you girlfriend and then we'll see who's in pain" and then by the next morning when you can't even open your eye because the sun feels like it's shooting flaming arrows directly into your brain and you're nursing your baby and whimpering a little and you're thinking you may need to go to the ER, but the other eye doctor tells you to just come in first thing so you do (holding your hands over your eyes the entire way there like an unsparkly vampire lady because DEAR LORD THE SUN. IT BURNS.) and he all nonchalantly tells your abrasion has become infected and developed a corneal ulcer, which has been described as the equivalent of an abcess or open sore in your eye.
and then you kind of throw up in your mouth a little because, well, that's just gross.

awesome, right?

gigi's little fancy hand manuever with the paper has cost us $140 in doctor's visits co-pays, $100 in prescriptions, and--had it been about 1/8 of an inch to the left--almost cost me my sight.

my 4x a day routine

the ulcer (gag) seems to finally be healing. but because it's healing it's creating a scar. i have a blurry spot on the edge of my vision. the doctor has me on steroid drops to try and control and minimize scarring and prevent permanent vision loss.

i think i'm just going to have super STRONG VISION.

then i really will need my awesome cyclops glasses permanently.
seriously not how i wanted to debut my new hair cut.
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